Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

So, the fourth instalment of Pirates of the Carribean is upon us. While the third one wasn’t the absolute perfect end to what started out as an amazing franchise, the trilogy didn’t really need to be ruined with this.

Those who, like me, didn’t think it any good may put some blame on the lack of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, but really has nothing to do with that. I’m not that great a fan of Captain Jack Sparrow, but as a character he was perfectly capable of carrying a film by himself. I still think he can. But if they’re going to rely solely on one main character, they should give him something good to work with.  

On Stranger Tides is just lazy. I don’t want to be overly cynical and say Disney and Bruckheimer did it just for the money. But that’s probably just me being nice. I think the idea was good, the Fountain of Youth – very Pirates of the Carribean. But they just didn’t really do anything with it.

It has its funny moments, I will admit. And Johnny Depp is still good as Sparrow as he’s always been. Penélope Cruz, apart from the character being Spanish, is little unnecessary. She’s a lot better than what was given to her to work with. At one point I thought, oh there’s no female lead in this one. Cruz was in the scene that was playing at the time. Little awkward moment inside my head…

The problem is, it feels POTC-esque but it doesn’t really have the charm of an actual ‘Pirates of the Carribean’ movie. It is like an average straight-to-DVD sequel idea, with a big star cast, and lots of money thrown at it. I wanted this to surprise me, and I wanted it to justify having a fourth movie, but it just doesn’t.

I don’t think I’m going to dissuade anyone from seeing it, it’s a big summer blockbuster, and I’m sure everyone is already decided whether they want to see it or not. And I wouldn’t want to stop anyone from seeing it. Hopefully though, I can lower your expectations so you could possibly enjoy it more than I did.

The Tourist / The Next Three Days

So, I’m putting the reviews of The Tourist and The Next Three Days together, not only because I saw them on the same day, but because what I had read of both of them prior to seeing them was that they were pretty shit. One was, one wasn’t so much. Also, I don’t have much to say on either so might as well keep it to one post with two short reviews.

The Tourist

The only bit in this movie where I got anything close to excited was the reason I actually went: my friend is the guy in the train conductor’s uniform in the train scene. He appears three times, for a few seconds. The rest was just ridiculous. It wasn’t boring, because I was laughing a fair bit at the stupidity of it all, and Angelina Jolie’s accent, which was really unnecessary, but really did not care about what was going on. And the twists were predictable. From the letter I knew who Johnny Depp was. I mean everyone must have got it by at least half an hour before the “big” reveal. Right?

It was basically a Jolie/Depp show. Nice looking shots (a lot of which looked a bit soft) of them around Paris and Venice. It also didn’t seem very challenging in terms of their acting abilities.

I have yet to see Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s The Lives of Others, and I still want to, but I can’t say I’m going to be keen on anything else he might do outside Germany.

The Next Three Days

First off, I’m going to call this film The Last Three Days, because whoever titled it needs to be fired. Or banished from any film industry. Also, I haven’t seen Pour Elle, the French original.

This was nowhere near as bad as I had read it would be. It’s definitely not perfect, but I think it serves its purpose. I love that you don’t know for certain whether she did it or not. Also, that the character of John Brennan doesn’t know how to help his wife escape prison. The easy way and the cliché is that he just happens to know how to do those things, but I enjoyed watching him struggle, even though it at times works against the pace of the film.

Its nice to see Elizabeth Banks doing serious, and that she can do it well. I think having someone who isn’t that well known for doing dramatic roles helps the mystery a little.

Apart from the length and title, my other main issue is that I didn’t feel completely satisfied with the ending. I won’t ruin it, but I would have liked it to be a little more difficult to get to where it did so that the ending would really work. However that would have then adding to running time, so I guess it might just have been a compromise.

And I have to say this again. The NEXT Three Days? Are you kidding me? Not only does that make no sense whatsoever, The Last Three Days is better, as the editor realized, or whoever’s idea it was to have the Last Three Years/Months/Days moments. If anyone ever understands that, please explain it to me.